Bootlegs

G.I.Joe was ripped off a lot in the 80's much like how we here at STS get ripped off a lot (Cracked doing a vehicle list, we did that a long time ago. General Hawk becoming a blog pfft we've been one since 1993, Joecustoms)

Here are my 5 favorite bootlegs (Images bootlegged from yojoe!)




THOSE GUYS FROM THE OTHER GALAXY That dio on the back is better than Power Struggle




COMMANDO! some jerks think that the best Anti Terrorist team was Stalker, Hawk, Duke, Flint, Lady Jaye, Scarlett, Snake Eyes, Roadblock, Shockwave, Countdown, Effects, Crosshair. Well they're jerks and possibly Chinese Communists

The real anti terror heros are: Sea Hank, Scar-Face, Tartar, Captain J.B., Ace, Ram, FOXY, Big Beard, Serpent, Robin, Dove, Grey Hound. They always won and carried suitcases



SAS Micro Force: Mainly because this guy is totally a Red Dog head on a swivel head Footloose torso, with 86 Hawk legs and straight arms.




Unknown Vehicle: These guys even put on a GI *GIANT FUCKING HEAD* Joe sticker on it. I think this is a modified TONKA vehicle. (Yeah I know this is an actual joe vehicle that's the joke!)

this article is like a bootleg it claims "SUPER WINNER GREAT 5 FAVORITE BOOTLEGS" but I only did four!

You in the wrong BLOCK FOR DEM MOVES BOY

Pathfinder went to buy bread and ended up wandering into the BAD NEIGHBAHOOD and saw Negros dancin' like miniture Tornadas (his words).

Dear jerks

We're cheap but we've got a board. http://stsforumreview.proboards.com/index.cgi you have too register to post though. (I need to make sure everyone isn't really Dr. Henry E. Miller)


Join and talk about this stuff but in real time. Also POST WHENEVER YOU UPDATE THIS IS A SOMEWHAT G.I. JOE RELATED MESSAGE BOARD AFTER ALL (P.S. GHOSTS Chapter 68 is up now!)

Bolts In Ya Bag/Candy Scam/Wheelin' Readin'

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=I650Q5OW

A interpretive read of the following post by our favorite manchild:

http://www.joecustoms.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=13060

Should we do this?

Who Is The Ultimate G.I Joe Fansite blahblahblahTNI

We could totally ice this shit, or at least run as a good spoiler! Like Jello for major in 78.

So STS readers, should we put together a DWEEM TEEM to take on all those established mainstream jerks? Broca Blutch would you like to have a partnership in this shit if we go through with this silly idea?

Just askin'

Knockin' Dr. Henry

Dear Henry E. Miller, I totally lost my old AIM name and with that lost yours. Please remind me what it is as on the internet scale of fucks too cool dudes your #1 (1. is cool 10. a fuck [BOBBY STEELE]) I can send you any of the following 1. an e-mail I got from a former D.O.A. bassist (NOT DOUBLE U ROY) 2. The first TSOL EP. or 3. A hilarious cover of a Christmas Song by The Misfits with overdubbed Bass and Guitar. e-mail the STS email address with it if you will

Also to any of you cats who read this blog who uses AIM and wants too talk to me and maybe El Doctoroso Henry E. Miller, email your AIM screename too stsfigurereview@gmail..com

What the fuck is up with Iron Grenadiers?

I've noticed that a lot of Joe fans sure like Iron Grenadiers, but I've got to ask why? No one likes Battle Force 2000, who they were supposed to be enemies with (THANKS LARRY HAMA YOU JUST CAN'T FOLLOW HASBRO CAN YOU?)

I mean they're lead by Destro looking his gayest (Sorry to all you homosexuals, but he wears a gold iron mask and has a fucking cape on) and some dude who looks like Major Bludd just 100 times worse (Magenta suit, a beard almost as bad as Clutch's and his backpack is hella phalic looking) and I assume Dorklon was important, fuck that dude and his ugly ass green costume

The Iron Grenaider himself is okay, not as cool as a Viper or Cobra Soldier, and his weapons are lamer than Sci Fi version 2's. Then they remade him, but instead of being a dude with some Conquistador helmet (Which is odd because Spaniards aren't close too be Spanish) he's got some ugly ass balaclava bolted too his goddamn face, small hands, abnormal height and a helmet that doesn't fit. Fuck Iron Grenaider v2,3,4

Then there was a Convention one with a v1 head on a Night Viper body, someone in the comments section once claimed he was like someone's bad custom. That dude was right!

There was also the Ahnilliator, who was Orange and Purple for some reason, and he had a dumb helicopter backpack thing, I hate this guy because he's not only ugly and a goofy idea, but he's got his boss' face on his dick. That bugs me because it proves Destro has a big ego, and I swear too god I saw that waist used on a Baroness custom, that is hella weird.

TARGAT, I still am not sure on the purpose of this guy, I guess he wasn't sure of himself either. Joined Cobra

Undertow, fuck divers not named "HYDRO VIPER" and what's with the fish?

Iron Anvil I didn't think the idea of an enemy paratrooper was bad, using a goofy mold that is easily identifiable as a Viper is a poor choice, using a fucking Jinx backpack makes me think the Iron Grenaiders were supposed to be the EVILS OF HOMOSEXUALITY instead of the Dreadnoks

Nullifier, what the fuck are you supposed to be? An anteater? an armored mummy? a Cobra-La figure? good? All but that last one could be possible

Ferret. I only recognize the ATV move along

Wild Boar: True Story I had this figure for like ten years but thought he was a bootleg so I got rid of him, I still don't think he's real.

General Mayhem: Hey it's Voltar just with a mold that pisses people off and a glued on helmet. Also a russian, fuck that commie.

Also according to Yojoe.com Rowdy Roddy Piper of pro grapz infamy is an IG. Man couldn't they have gotten a Luchador or Chris Benoit (the dude who iced his family) instead?

Also Overlord and Dr. Mindbender were IG's in Brazil, and I think Overlord's filecard states he was raised by Satanists. Thank you brazil for having the balls Hasbro didn't have.

Yo Down Syndrome!

That G.I. Joe team really is a great bunch of people. They're willing to give a woman suffering from Down Syndrome a spot on the team, plus they allowed Marvin F. Hinton too change his codename from Bubba.

GI Joe= A Bastion of civil rights.


ps Smash The State will probably be left up but I dunno if it'll have any updates by me unless they're really easy like this, dr henry e miller can do whatever the fuck he wants too, same with tom jacks I don't care that much

FROM THE VAULT!

Heres something I made before Smash The State debuted on the WORLD WIDE WEB to pretty much entertain me and Mr. Turk, it's a interpretive read of a Thomas Wheeler post about him ranting about children's TV screwing up his VHS tape:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GR2WU2WY

This blog is boring

It really is, and I feel has lost some of it's charm. I dunno what the future lies for Smash The State Figure Review but it ain't gonna be bright if it continues to not be fun for me


Just sayin

Callin em' likes I sees thems.

Hey you butts, I know everyone is hating on that lameass site Hisstank for good reason and all, but what about all the other Joe "Hierarchy" sites who are shameless shills for the same four scalper sites that drive up the prices of lameass toys and contribute further to G.I Joe becoming just another backstabbing collectors hobby? Especially one guy from a New England state that posts his drivel on like 8 different identical sites.

The Joe fandom is selling out and becoming stale.

Hey you turkeys!

Me and Doctor Henry E. Miller are batting around the idea of a legit message board, however I'm cheap and I don't assume iEl Doctor Henry E. Miller! is gonna fork over any of his vast financial holdings so I want to know if there's any actual interest in the: ACTION FIGURES ARE SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS/GUY FROM MISSION OF BURMA'S HEARING DISASTER FORUM-O-RAMA" from you cool cats (Broca Blutch guys, Jaysun, Dan "Delta" Sartain, Zarr Chasm, Stu Wilson, Dude from Norway who reads this blog)

let us know, it's like democracy ya know except instead of voting, it's me making my mind up and claiming I listened to you

Smash The State Makes Amends

Dear, Broca Blutch I'm totally sorry that your Diorama pimping threat got deleted at Hisstank.policestate.info

Dear Mike "De Aco" Fountain, sorry for e-mailing your webTV e-mail address 20 times asking for an interview

Dear Corey Chump Stinson: Sorry for bringing back those haunting memories of your internet wars with De Aco

Dear readers who've noticed a change in writing styles, I'll totally review 1983 Airborne again

Dear Cobra Cabana sorry for totally not giving you credit for the inspiration of this blog. Smash The State was born out of me reading that at 3AM

Dear Thomas Wheeler, we're sorry that you have to be Thomas Wheeler

Dear Nien Nunb I am sorry I called you a "Space ching chong" and claimed that you fucked up the Falcon in ROTJ

Dear Lando Calrissian, I'm sorry that I just apologized to that Space Chinaman. Fuck that jerk and his radar dish fucking up abilities

Dear Tom Jacks Esq, You're fired

Dear Zarr Chasm, you should totally write for us p.s. are you also common tator I'll tell you Tom Jacks' more recognizeable joe name if you are

Dear Illinois State Police thanks for arresting lawbreakers and putting them in jail for Felonies and Misdemanors

1991 Grunt is an Angry Man

Yikes 2 content posts in one day, expect a Tag list soon!


Grunt hates himself


Grunt Hates better Smash The State mascots


Grunt Hates Ninjas



Grunt wants you to vote for who he tells you

Strange Rumblings In Middle Island

Today I had to get some items on the way back from talkin' serious shit so I stopped into the land of lost children (Middle Island NY Wal-Mart) because fuck it was on the way home. After wandering through the new AC/DC corporate selling out of rock and roll section I somehow ended up in the Joe isle (Muscle memory reflex from my dark dayz) and came across this shit right here:



Yeah thats right, headless LONZO right from the factory, thats some straight racist bullshit right there, all the white folk in the box had they heads attached. Thats some ol' bullshit.

Then on the way to the parking lot, I found a car (a 2001 VW Jetta with no hub-caps) with a plate that makes no atempt at hiding the fact I never want to meet the owner:


Then I left quickly in my car (my cars name is flapjack) then went to friendlys and got a milkshake then voted for a black dude.

HELL YEAH

FIGURE SWAPPING!

I've never seen anything thats pissed off lameass nerds this much since paintwipes:

"I wish nothing but the worst life has to offer for this fool and any other who pulls this kind of BS. I really hope they suffer untold misery throughout the rest of their pathetic lives."

TOYS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS YOU UNDERSTAND DON'T FUCK WITH TOYS I HAVEN'T BOUGHT!

I bet these people also have strong opinions on the 90's batman movies, anime and eat Hamburger Helper 3 times a week.

Fucking nerds.

The most important air battle in G.I Joe history

I like how the one black kid is just standing there twirling the Rattler around, those two other kids are some racist jerks, I bet they made him play with the Buzz Boar while they had the Terrordrome and re-enacted softcore porn movies with the Baroness and Barbecue.

Also you can take down a Rattler by flying directly above it.

Reasons why we stay be hatin' on the 25th, yo.

We pretty much question every thing Hasbro does nowadays and hate (hate bloggers whoooah) on the 25th nonstop, but me and J. Turk have good reasons, so we'll list them for youse guys:

- Fake collector frenzy: For years G.I Joe was free of chase figures and variants and thats one of the reasons the hobby was great, now every wave has some bullshit that nerds get all sweaty about and stores that get shamelessly promoted on websites with dwindling content sell for insane markup. It hurts the hobby in the worst way, but it does give people we don't like reasons to be upset so maybe it's not such a bad thing.

- Figures that can't move worth a shit: Seriously, if we had action figures that could move and sit and hold guns 20 fucking years ago, why don't we now?

- Nothing original: Yeah it's cool some things like a cobra trooper never really change, but now there just making the same figures they made in the 80's and instead of improving them, they look like shit and have problems mentioned above.

- Johnny come lately: I DON'T LIKE RAH BECAUSE THEY CAN'T MOVE IN THE GODDAMNED CHEST REALISTIC MILITARY CRACKS IN THE UPPER BODY

- Shitty plastic: I don't really care if your gonna charge 10 bucks for a single packed figure, but maybe you shouldn't make them out of shit that feels like hollow plastic.

- Reusing molds to get as many figures on the market and flood it: Battle Armor Cobra Commander and the Iron Grenadier totally shop at the same armor store rite guyz. Seriously I can't even tell some of these figures apart, that shit flew in 1982 but it's 2008, who the fuck cares about getting Cutter anyway?

- Keeping making the same 8 characters in every wave - I don't collect Star Wars figures because they don't pose for shit and they make like 190 Chewbaccas a year why the fuck would I want the same in G.I Joe

- Listening to idiot collectors - This is the reason we have asshole chase figures and boring army builder repaint packs, not to mention nothing original and just the same shit over and over and over. Change hurts if you're a Joe fan I guess.

- Inferior body style - Seriously, for 25 years you had the perfect formula for a 4 inch tall action figure then you go and pay tribute to them by discarding the best template for a toy ever and replacing them with stuff that feels and looks like a knockoff or some overpriced japanese import toy. Thats like forming a Flipper cover band and then playing your instruments in tune and not doing lots of drugs.

So theres the reasons we don't like this 25th nonsense. If you don't like it go jump off the Moodna Viaduct!