Reasons why we stay be hatin' on the 25th, yo.

We pretty much question every thing Hasbro does nowadays and hate (hate bloggers whoooah) on the 25th nonstop, but me and J. Turk have good reasons, so we'll list them for youse guys:

- Fake collector frenzy: For years G.I Joe was free of chase figures and variants and thats one of the reasons the hobby was great, now every wave has some bullshit that nerds get all sweaty about and stores that get shamelessly promoted on websites with dwindling content sell for insane markup. It hurts the hobby in the worst way, but it does give people we don't like reasons to be upset so maybe it's not such a bad thing.

- Figures that can't move worth a shit: Seriously, if we had action figures that could move and sit and hold guns 20 fucking years ago, why don't we now?

- Nothing original: Yeah it's cool some things like a cobra trooper never really change, but now there just making the same figures they made in the 80's and instead of improving them, they look like shit and have problems mentioned above.

- Johnny come lately: I DON'T LIKE RAH BECAUSE THEY CAN'T MOVE IN THE GODDAMNED CHEST REALISTIC MILITARY CRACKS IN THE UPPER BODY

- Shitty plastic: I don't really care if your gonna charge 10 bucks for a single packed figure, but maybe you shouldn't make them out of shit that feels like hollow plastic.

- Reusing molds to get as many figures on the market and flood it: Battle Armor Cobra Commander and the Iron Grenadier totally shop at the same armor store rite guyz. Seriously I can't even tell some of these figures apart, that shit flew in 1982 but it's 2008, who the fuck cares about getting Cutter anyway?

- Keeping making the same 8 characters in every wave - I don't collect Star Wars figures because they don't pose for shit and they make like 190 Chewbaccas a year why the fuck would I want the same in G.I Joe

- Listening to idiot collectors - This is the reason we have asshole chase figures and boring army builder repaint packs, not to mention nothing original and just the same shit over and over and over. Change hurts if you're a Joe fan I guess.

- Inferior body style - Seriously, for 25 years you had the perfect formula for a 4 inch tall action figure then you go and pay tribute to them by discarding the best template for a toy ever and replacing them with stuff that feels and looks like a knockoff or some overpriced japanese import toy. Thats like forming a Flipper cover band and then playing your instruments in tune and not doing lots of drugs.

So theres the reasons we don't like this 25th nonsense. If you don't like it go jump off the Moodna Viaduct!

Convention Exclusives!

G.I. Joe conventions tend to bring out the worst aspects of G.I.Joe, the worst of all is the exclusives so I'll look back at as many of them as I can remember or until I get bored, don't worry though I'm not gonna do anything stupid like that 1993 Backblast that got bagged and sold in like 98 or something.

James DeSimone's convention exclusives:

Cobra Infiltrate Jinx: This figure is great because it was James DeSimone getting a bunch of Jinx's and a Mickey Mouse CC Cobra symbol stencil. I bet that guy makes a batch in his garage every two years

Police Officer: What happens when you take an already ugly figure and make him a cop? A hilarious waste of Stardusters, but I suppose this motherfucker is hella rare what with regular Stardusters being like 60 bucks and these guys never show up. They'd probably go for like 200 bucks, I guess I should make some in my garage and then sell them.

Race Car Driver:I think this is the best coloring of the Ace v1 mold shame it's just a shitty custom

Master Collector Exclusives

2002: Hey remember when Vipers weren't boring and Crimson repaints weren't (really) stupid? yeah the good old days indeed!

2003: The beginning of using "obscure molds" oh well atleast this set didn't prevent any good molds from being used at retail

2004: HELL YEH DREADNOKZ It's pretty bad when the best figures are a Buzzer and Ripper with hilarious and unnoticed ripped off foreign colorschemes. Also this set is the beggining of really hilarious and overpriced other exclusives (I think there was only 1 in 03, here there's a bunch) My favorite being the fifty dollar Zubaz pants Zartan with a TBC Hawk in bad colors and a second one with new sculpt head. Didn't they make a v1 style Zartan head with a balljoint neck in 2001? Why not use that

2005: Hey like 90% of these molds would've done better at retail and not being Iron Grenadiers, seriously fuck the Iron Grenaiders those guys are overrated

2006: What happens when you take some of the lamer molds and make a bunch of fat ass troopers for Major Bludd and Overlord, who also introduces the coil, a sub par convention set, so how do you save it? Throw in a R@RE and cool South American exclusive, just ya know make it worse that the original. This is probably the worst set ever devised by these MC cats mainly due too the fact it throws all the popular Joe fan ideas together and proves they're all godawful. Wait I guess this is the best set.

2007: Some decent updates too classic characters and some cartoon characters. It's lowpoint is pretty much the female Cobra troopers. While not nearly as fucked up as a lot of customs the terrible back mold ruins those figures.

2008: DRUG DEALING ROBOTS CRACK SMACK BZZT LSD

Canadian Joe exclusives: The most expensive customs around, too bad they all suck and aren't even worth the money jerks pay for them.


So in the end, most Joe convention exclusives are terrible (much like this article) and not really worth 300 bones, but then again "HEY U GUYS THERE EXCLUSIVES THEY MIGHT SELL OUT!" which ya know rarely happens