Dear G.I. Joe fans...

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Thanks too Last Best Angry Man I have now seen a dio story worse than those ones about god and bad Grand Slam customs. Mainly because it's about Werewolves, murder and poorly computer rendered bitches. It's like a song written by Glenn Danzig, except without great melodies and was made by probably a bigger jerk




"SLURP SLURP" indeed



Okay what the fuck?




I don't know what's worse the fact someone made this, or the fact decided the scantily clad woman should lose her clothing during decapitation.

Well that was something I never wanted too see but I did, and it was god awful. Fuck you whoever made this

ONE TWO SURFS UP! Chuckles is a party animal!

Back in 1987 a new lounge act took the world by storm, his soothing vocals, steel guitar and cheap Hawaiian shirts stunned the audiences of Maxies Tiki Bar of Fort Collins Colorado (Don't look for it, it's not there no more) every Tuesday night from 8pm to 10pm. His blazing covers of Paul Simon's "Kodachrome" and "Me and Julio Down By The Schoolyard" his powerful steel guitar six string fury would propel crowds into fits of passing interest.



"Hey all you classy ladies in the crowd tonight, this next one is where I want to take ya, it's an old Roky Erikson tune called Bermuda and it goes like a one-two-a-shinin'-my-shoe..."


Well accually it turned out Chuckles was an undercover CIA agent who was trying to infiltrate the dangerous underground of illegal lounge singing, it was his expert skills on this mission, and that he was responsible for the capture of up to forty Jimmy Buffet cover bands that got him a spot on the GI Joe team. His first mission was awkwardly bumping into Dial Tone at a buffet line at a party, wearing his signature Hawaiian shirt, he successfully made Dial Tone drop the tongs for the ribs onto the floor, exposing him as a real numbskull! In the after action report, squad leader Duke said: "Aahaha oh man dude you totally made fagstache over there drop that shit lets go play some fucking volleyball!". Duke then sent Chuckles on such dangerous operations like posing as a Hawaiian Traffic Cone and blocking that one spot so he could totally park near the door of the PIT so he can be "THE FUCK OUTTA DODGE RACECAR!" by 4:45 on a Friday afternoon. After a few years of inactivity, Chuckles left the Joe team after a dispute over whether or not Hawaiian shirts we're en-vogue or not. He then developed a nasty cocaine addiction and hit rock bottom when he crashed his I-ROC Z128 into a telephone pole in Tampa Florida in 1992.

He slowly worked his way back into the music scene playing slide guitar for a Lounge adaptation of Cheap Trick called "Surrender: The music of Cheap Trick played in a Lounge". After a few months bustin' out solos on the Party Deck of "Deitrichs On The Sands" he was asked to rejoin a new subteam of GI Joe called Tactical Weapons Aerial Training, otherwise known as "T.W.A.T". This team was started by Duke so he could go around GI Joe HQ using the word twat without worrying about suffering the same sensitivity training as Crankcase did for his racially charged comment. Chuckles and the other T.W.A.T's (Dialtone, Blowtorch, Tollbooth and ROBO-Joe) first mission was stealing the Jutebox from a Bar owned by The Headman so it could have a voice recording bug placed into it, the mission was successful, but the Jutebox was never returned because Duke kept putting quarters into it so he could play "Thunder Road" repeatably, around this time The GI. Joe team disbanded and Duke entered rehab and Chuckles went back to the Village Green and continues to wait for the day when Hawaiian shirts will one day be cool again.

Man, what the fuck.

Smash The State under attack!

While I was alone making sure the snare sounded correct on "TOTO 12: THIS ONE IS ALSO ABOUT AFRICA" I learned that Smash The State's primary objective of "Make nerds angry" came true on Hisstank.com, while they gave Dr. Henry E. Miller credit for my hard work, I don't care because apparently they got very angry about Smash The State, so they visited our good site.

So to the guy who called us the "G.I.Joe Hater Bloggers" I would like to thank you for probably wasting more time on http://98oldsmobiledotgov.blogspot.com than the following people: Me, Dr. Henry E. Miller, Tom Jacks, God, Muammar Gaddafi, the guy who produced The Pretender, Chuck Biscuits, Funskool, All of our loyal readers, the dude who stole my lawnmower in 1997, Jackson Browne, the homeless drunk who once busted out the window of 1986 Toyota Tercel, Ronald McDonald, Mike Fountain, the kid from the Dubble Bubble comics,Mike Fountain, Robert Robert Watts, Stu Wilson and East Bay Ray. Because by doing that it means we win and your a nerd losing time.


Also thanks Dr. Henry E. Miller for telling that activist judge I was too busy bombing an abortion clinic to have spray painted "GANG GREEN #100" on the fence of the dude from the Pointed Sticks