Look out Cobra, The Joes are launching a bomb!

And it's gonna hit every theatre in America. There is a g.i. joe movie coming out, now most people think this is a good idea I guess, but hey they're not intelligent like me or Dr. Henry E. Miller. So we figure that the G.I. Joe fan boy spin doctors are gonna see said Joe Movie and then post about it on the internet and then do DAMAGE CONTROL when it sucks because you know war movies about AMERIKA THE BEAUTIFUL HOME OF THE BRAVE AND HOME OF THE SLAVES are gonna regurgitate all over the net. Here's our bets:

THEY DIDN'T HAVE TIMELESS CHARACTERS LIKE COPPERHEAD THATS WHY IT DIDN'T DO GOOD

GUYS LISTEN THEY TRIED TO ADAPT THE CHARACTERS TO MODERN TIMES

NO ONE CAN RELATE TOO RIPCORD BEING A BLACK AMERICAN

LARRY HAMA DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH CREATIVE CONTROL

THE HOLLYWOOD LEFT DIDN'T ALLOW IT TOO SUCCEED

THEY DIDN'T LET THOMAS WHEELER HAVE ANY SAY, HE DID AMAZING ON THE FILECARDS

THEY PROBABLY LET STEEL BRIGADE HAVE TOO MUCH SAY F*** YOU DAVID LANE

THE ORIGINAL HYPE FOR THE MOVIE WAS TERRIBLE. NO ONE WANTS A G.I. JOE THAT ISN'T TRUE TOO IT'S ROOTS AND DOWNPLAY'S IT'S PATIROTISIM.GI JOE IS AN AMERICAN ORGINZATION NOT INTERNATIONAL

THEY DIDN'T ALLOW THEM TO WEAR THEIR ORIGINAL COSTUMEZ

there will be more but, fuck that shitty movie is like a year away and hey maybe we'll luck out and it won't ever finish, or it'll bomb so bad hasbro goes outta bidness and a bunch of fat guys get real jobs.

BIG LOBB MAKES HIS MOVE!

Big Lobb was fucking awesome and totally deserves a figure because he's cool.

Scared white Joe fans don't like him because hes a loud black guy who's good at sports. I'd rather have him then that fucking lame-a-noid from MASK, oh wait I'm not buying those lame fucking figures I spend my money on much cooler short sighted investments, like the original 1978 printing of the Disco Sucks single.