G.I. Joe comic re-boot!

One thing a lot of joe fans have clung to since 1995 was the G.I.Joe continuity. Mainly because they've got no real personality and didn't buy health insurance until the OXY CLEAN GUY WHO YELLS A LOT started endorsing it. And now that Devils Due (dudes I never heard of prior to the joe comic) lost that license and some more guys I've never heard of got it and have decided "LOL THIS HERE COMIC BOOK WITH IT'S LAST CHOICE WRITER THAT MARVEL DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TO EVEN BOTHER TEACHING ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THE JOES TO REPLACE HIM" 25+ year old continuity is in need of a reboot.

Nerds hate change. So this is bad news for them, even though the new comic will be written by Larry Hama again, and jerks will still praise him as some amazing fuckin writer even though all 155 issues were to sell some goddamn childrens toys. They weren't even realistic about army problems, do you guys remember the issue where Clutch and Rock N Roll killed a bunch of Cobra soldiers and then trafficked drugs? Or the time Shipwreck wasn't allowed to serve due to the no open gays in the military rule, or the time Flash got PTSD and was shipped back home and then became homeless?

Me neither, and until they do a Joe comic that doesn't suck make mine jokes about Funskool Tripwire and Thomas Wheeler

G.I.Joe as a Lifetime movie

Dr. Henry, your fine article made me think "Gee I'm glad I'm not an idiot" but it also made me think the collectors club is like one of those abusive boyfriends, so they'll abuse the nerds for like 6 years until one day some loser dressed like this:



A mix of Cobra Commander and the motherfucking Zodiac Killer decides to shoot the club in the back while it's asleep on the couch. Now I'm not sure if that's a metaphor or if someone's gonna actually shoot dudes in the back I don't got the E.S.P.

Also, I like how jerks who bought their 25 Dollar Hiss Driver, are getting dinged with shipping even if they got it at the goddamn convention. Guess that's what you get for supporting terrorisim