Really bad G.I. Joe vehicles!

A while back Dr. Henry E. Miller criticized Cobra's vehicles like the shitter shitello, and since I doubt anyone cares about the "PIN THE BLAME ON TOM JACKS BECAUSE HE'S UNFIRABLE" legal drama plans, I'll yell at terrible G.I. Joe vehicles:

1983 PAC/RATS: Hell yeah robots man! you've got the missle launcher that would be empty in a minute, the machine gun that's got more firepower than every arctic vehicle prior to 1988, and the flame throw, because nothing says defend freedom and liberty like a robot that goes and sets people different from you on fire.

1984 S.H.A.R.C. fuck this ugly thing, it defies common sense, it's retarded and the only thing worse than this is it's driver.

1985:Silver Mirage man what the hell, it's like some old timey WWII nazi motorbike with the sidecar, and that dumbass backsheild thing aren't going to save you from the fact it's a goddamn death trap. Now i'm not a guy who does the following: Ride motorcycles, Fight a war so some old dude can get rich off my young blood, or enjoy the musical stylings of one Phil Collins, but I'm pretty sure if your on a motorbike firing a goddamn missle off it could probably cause a problem.

Snowcat: Cool an oddly shaped, useless arctic vehicle. Couldn't a gun atleast be sculpted on? Honestly after those 4 missles and 2 Ski PEDOS are fired the damn thing is useless "LOOK OUT COBRA WE'LL GET YOU WITH OUR WINDSHIELD WIPER"

Forward Observer: Fuck that tent.

1986:LCV recon sled. Yeah I totally want to drive on some weird ass thing where I have to lie on my el stomacho and look through a periscope.

Outpost Defender: Hell yeah what looks to be sheet metal, drift wood and a pile of sandbags, I didn't think the joes had THAT many hillbillies

1987 Coastal Defender: Hell yeah a shed on a trailer bed, those hillbillies sure were popular in the late 80s

Defiant: Yes those terrorists on the moon sure are gonna take us out!

Battle Force 2000's stuff, man fuck this garbage.

I could go on and on but basically it's just worse from here on out

Hey fuck you

Well it's been one year and me and Dr. Henry E. Miller (Who is going to fight Eric Blume in the opening round of a gay rodeo in Utah soon) have continuously half assed thinly veiled threats towards people like Thomas Wheeler, Mike Fountain, and the roman catholic church on a semi regularly basis. So thank you, you three people who have read this, your almost as big a hero as the Doctor.

Also Tom Jacks Esquire is a useless guy and I'd fire him if I knew how to.


Peace out!