Absurd Funskool Filecards: A Caravan Of Fun!

From The Desk Of The Esteemed Doctor Henry E Miller:

Funskool, a toy company from India has been producing GI Joe figures for quite some time now, and with these figures comes some silly accessories and even sillier filecards. Often the Indian filecards are better then the Hasbro ones simply because there way more entertaining then the ones that bum that couldn't even get a writing gig before GI Joe came along ever did, when Thomas Wheeler wrote the 97/98 filecards he could have taken an idea or two from the following, because Anti Tank Canon specialists who "strenghad" there teams are way more entertaining then "COBRA TROOPERS ARE SO DUMB I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY DO STUFF".

General Flagg:


If I ever joined the military, I sure hope my specialty would be "Missile launch" because I would use my extensive training to operate missiles and annihilate those deadly Cobras, would they even stand a chance?

Zarana:



She escaped wearing a granny outfit and shortchanged a Taxi Driver, that sounds like something out of one of the later Police Academy movies, what did they send the rookie, the half blind veteran and the retard to surround this building? Who ever wrote these has a very warped perception of what an evil person is.

Dodger:


Does he keep that confusing garble of words inside the "Secret Chamber"? Its great to know GI Joe has a guy who has 3D glasses, Weather radar, Photoshop and stuff for blinding jerks.

Tunnelrat:


Tunnelrat just may be the fastest chinaman in all of country! He caused a rock slide, and boy, he sure couldn't wait to see them so he could shoot them at point blank range! I'm sure the villagers he crushed under the rockslide sure loved that one.

Tripwire:



"Hey uh Tormond..nice name by the way, okay my main man, heres your new uniform now everyone will know what your job is!"

Cutter:



Well when they predicted the battle with Cobra would continue into the next millennium also, I had no idea how they would strengthenad the GI Joe team with specialists, but thank god here comes the Anti Tank Canon expert code named as CUTTER who check mates every move of Cobras.

Phew, thats a relief!


Here at Smash The State we are all about international love, and these filecards have provided me and my business partners tens of minutes of enjoyment, and we hope they do the same for you. If your GI Joe team ever needs a member of the BOMB SQUAD or a Anti Tank Canon Expert, look towards our friends at Funskool, they got us covered.


The Doctors Final Thoughts: Strengthenad