RACIAL STEREOTYPES

Joe is a pretty diverse toyline, I mean it's got Blacks, Jews, Indians, Women, Robots and other things most nerds fear, but in a lot of aspects Hasbro would often make one visible minority, and then make one that was beating you over the dome saying "THIS GUY IS THIS" so here's the top whatever number I write about:

Spirit: I imagine the design process was: "Hey that Airborne dude was pretty good, shows how there's lots of different races and creeds in the army" "He was different?" "Yeah he was an Native Indian" "INDIANS HAVE MOCCASINS AND EAGLES AND NAMES LIKE SEEING WOLF AND COMANCHE, MAKE ONE LIKE THAT" and that's why we got a "Tracker" (Whatever that is) who has stupid hair and somewhat dangerous shoes, I've worn moccasins and I don't want to step on busted rocks and shit wearing those.

Spirit also had a ridiculous weapon, I'm no gunsmith (I'm a roadie for ELO) but can a rifle shoot arrows, it doesn't seem plausible to me. Worse than Spirt was Dart, some ugly guy with a small head a 70's eagle chain. I figure he was designed to be an army guy version of a casino indian.

Roadblock: Hey, a black guy with a soul patch and a tank top who's almost as good a rapper as Trunks (BLITZ YA WHOLE TEAM SOMETHING SOMETHING DRUM AND BASS MUSIC SOMETHING SOMETHING INSPECTOR GADGET REFRENCE SOMETHING CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE FUCKED UP KIND check out King Geedorah yo) Then he got an earring. Not really a great example of a terrible stereotype until you remember, his original codename was "Bubba"

Now I wonder why Cobra never got any, except maybe the Dreadnoks and their band of homosexuals and Anarchists (Gee they're just Texas' hardcore scene I guess) I wish they would have made a South American Cobra who was like a Contra, but then again I guess he'd have to be a Joe and we can't let people know there's bad stuff being done by the good guyz

This article is a 10 on the scale of bands with Chuck Biscuits!

This is Tom Jacks, Esq., fresh off a trip from Africa seeing the Batsmen of the Kalahari. I just popped in to check on things and found that our old friends MC are at it again. I especially liked this gem the most:

"It may take 2 or three days for it to show up in your statement."

Oh that wacky Master Collector! Can't even decide if they want to spell the number or just type it.

Stay tuned in a few weeks for my comphrensive article, "Black Men in GI Joe: Why Do They Always Carry Big Guns?"

G.I.Joe as a Lifetime movie

Dr. Henry, your fine article made me think "Gee I'm glad I'm not an idiot" but it also made me think the collectors club is like one of those abusive boyfriends, so they'll abuse the nerds for like 6 years until one day some loser dressed like this:



A mix of Cobra Commander and the motherfucking Zodiac Killer decides to shoot the club in the back while it's asleep on the couch. Now I'm not sure if that's a metaphor or if someone's gonna actually shoot dudes in the back I don't got the E.S.P.

Also, I like how jerks who bought their 25 Dollar Hiss Driver, are getting dinged with shipping even if they got it at the goddamn convention. Guess that's what you get for supporting terrorisim

You stupid motherfuckers got worked

From The Desk Of The Esteemed Doctor Henry Edward Miller:

Theres a reason I'm a doctor.

Remember this little debacle from the convention?

http://98oldsmobiledotgov.blogspot.com/2007/09/master-collector-has-sure-fire-way-to.html

Well, I was right, I was right the whole time.

Master Collector came forward with this bullshit line today:

"This is going out to all members:

I am sad to say that we had to cancel the Tanks from the 2007 convention souvenirs. We are not happy to do this, but at this juncture, we have no other options.

As the manufacturer starting punching out the pieces, we found that there was a second boggy wheel tool missing (that would require retooling). Even though we were not prepared for this problem, and we knew it would cause additional delays, we decided to absorb the additional cost of this lost piece and continue on (we already knew we would have to tool one wheel).

However, when they started running the turrets, the tool (mold) broke. They cannot repair it. So, we have cancelled the project and processed the refunds to everyone who purchased or pre-ordered these items. If you paid by credit card, your credit has been placed back on your card. It may take 2 or three days for it to show up in your statement. If you paid by cash, we will be issuing you a check next week as it takes a while to write all the checks to each individual.

We are just as upset as you are about this cancellation as the project had already sold over 80% through. We wish there was something else we could do, but there is not. Here is the way we worked out the refunds: Each person that had picked-up their figures at the convention, will receive a refund less $20 per figure. Each person who pre-ordered will receive a refund less $20 per figure and $5 per order for shipping (foreign $10 per order shipping). If you would like a full refund, you may return your figures to us and we will refund the remainder of your funds paid (no restocking fee).

If you pre-ordered and want to cancel your order, please let us know by Friday, December 21, as we will not start shipping the pre-ordered figures until after Christmas. Again, if you want to cancel the whole order and not receive the figures, there is no restocking fee. We will then issue the appropriate additional credit to you via your card or check. For those of you who are foreign members and received the figures at the show, we will be contacting you as we have other options you may want to explore.

Once all of the pre-orders have been shipped, the remaining Rip-Its will be sold with a Steeler (and file cards) for $50 + shipping (no more than 2 orders allowed per person or address). After the pairs are gone, there will be a few Steelers left at $28 + shipping. There are more Steelers left than Rip-Its as the tanks did not pre-sell at a 1:1 basis and we ran long on the Steelers. These two figures are the shortest run production 3 3/4” figures we have ever produced at only 500 pieces each. Even without the vehicles, these figures are a great addition to this year’s set. We apologize for any inconvenience, as like you, we were very excited about this project. In 12 years, we have never had a tool break but it was bound to happen based on the age of the tools (molds).

Thank you for your understanding and support in this matter as we have exhausted all avenues for resolving this issue.

Brian"

You stupid fucking nerds fell for it. You're not even getting a full refund, then they go on to try to sell you overpriced extra stock.

Ahahahaa.