G.I. Joe fans tend to be morons, they usually grab some obscure figure and make them their own personal Snake Eyes, it's frankly quite embarassing because for every dio story involving a really shitty Grand Slam custom blowing up something in your sandbox, there's like 90 fan fics with the exact same thing happening.
G.I. Joe's who should never be in another fan created thing again:
Grand Slam: That motherfucker is ugly and I've already given an example of his "COOLNESS FACTOR"
Hit and Run: Sure he's a cool figure but really he's the most 1 dimensional character around he likes to run and ain't got a home big whoop. Having him stuck in a giant purple prison of peril for 3 goddamn years doesn't give him a character it means your a jerk who can't write a compelling story.
Barrel Roll: Yeah I don't think a "HIGH ALTITUDE SNIPER" is going to be going behind enemy lines or anything ya know secret agent like. Seriously fuck this guy, he was a decent New Sculpt Figure but if they made him in 2001 he'd be lamer than that guy with Big Ben's torso and dial tone legs
Sure Fire: This guy might be the best figure between 1997-2004 but it doesn't mean he should be in every dio using the same 2 goddamn charcterizations, either "HARD EDGE COP WITH AN ATTITUDE THAT PUTS PEOPLE OFF" or "GUY WHO'S UNLIKABLE BUT GETS THE JOB DONE" Look we all know and hate Steel Brigade as well, but honestly don't hide it either say "THIS GUY IS AN ASSHOLE WHO IS AN INSIDER AND PROBABLY EXCHANGED SEXUAL FAVORS FOR HIS PLACE IN THE GIJCC" or make fun of him for being this David Lane:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Eden_Lane
Cobra's who should never be in another fan created thing again:
Resurrected Serpentor: Ya know I don't have a problem with people who like serpentor, I have a problem with guys who don't really like him and ressurect him and have him squashed by the real CC. This also always leads to the next guy
Overlord: His filecard makes him seem like a Cobra Diehard who actually tried to make Cobra Command a stable organization. So of course everytime he shows up it's as a sniveling fuck up who is in way over his head, and winds up being second in command of "THE COIL" seriously this isn't original stop fucking doing it
Major Bludd: Read Broca Blutch they do make valid points!
There's probably more, maybe you guys can write them. Anyways joe fans should adopt new useless characters to portray as cooler than Snake Eyes, better than Duke and having sexual relations with Scarlett, Lady Jaye and Jinx; like Hardball or Clutch.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I notice fanwank likes to use Chuckles. Yeah, the pegwarmer from 1987 is suddenly a badass. Also, they use chubby, Chuckle-wannabe Mace. Plus Mercer, because defectors are kewl. He found GI JOE, then he found Christ, now maybe he'll find a nice girl and get married, have some kids. Also, he's the white one of the Renegades. Screw the Turk and the Samoan! Redneck fans can't relate to them.
For Cobra, Gristle, never mind that he looks like some lame movie character who'd be played by Matthew Lillard, he's fair game because he's not "established".
And Interrogator, because even though there were two interrogators who came before him...HE WEARS A COOL DARTH VADER-ESQUE HELMET!! Take that, guys with silly mustache and funny accents!
The Interrorgator is also used because they can then imply rape
oh shit, battle copter pilots!!
dumber than all of them: crosshair. he has a floppy hat and a SNIPER RIFLE. you can sort of find both of those things at wal-mart, so fans are all over it.
hardball and chuckles pretty much rule.
Post a Comment