Friday, October 24, 2008

G.I. Joe fandom personality templates

I'm sure I've probably said this like 4 times already (There's atleast 2 posts in which the "golden year" of 1985 is disected, but hey fuck you) but there's nothing I've got planned too yell about at this moment, oh and if we remember we're gonna spam the Joe Movie ending the day it comes out PLEASE REMIND US. Anyways there are like 8 types of jerks who are involved in G.I. Joe

1. Guy who is really positive. For some reason these types always do reviews, and they always skip a figures faults, yet they're never called out for it. Yeah well I don't care that you don't think you should mention poor paint masks and that your Comic Pack Falcon's joints are frozen because "Well everyone should be used too them by now" I don't remember my Duke having his goddamn forehead be yellow because machines twenty five years ago could do their damn job.

2. The Overly negative. These guys have two types: Wicked sick cats like me and Dr. Henry E. Miller and most of you dudes reading this (Except the Broca Blutch guys if they're even alive, mainly because you cats gave effort, real negative cats are lethargic and like the Dictators we steal really common stuff but totally change it a bit) 

The other type is someone who bitches about every thing, yet never get any grief for it, those guys are pussies.

3. Bullshit Action Figure Authorities. These are dudes who people listen too mainly because they write their stuff out like they know what their talking about, however they never actually spout out anything requiring proof. Pretty much it's dudes spouting their opinions like they're facts but they're smart enough to not say anything that could be disproven. 

4. Actual Authorities. Sometimes these dudes are cool and say things of importance, sometimes they're personality is also mixed with something else (like Really postive guy) and then you have too ignore them. I don't have any problems with some of these guys since one dude once told me that one of the comic packs was gonna have Dragonosky and the other two Ruskies no one likes

5. Guy who integrates all sorts of 1:18 scale REALISM bullshit, these dudes tend to be from places that aren't North America (Except Norway that place is rockin' because one dude from their comes here, we love you mysterious Norway homie) and just post pictures.

6. Dudes who love god. A LOT. In the Pat Robertson vein not the John Rydgren vein, Usually involves customs of Ministers or JESUS TREE FORTS WITH FLAK CANNONS TOO KILL FAGGOTS, ACTIVIST JUDGES AND KOREANS

7. I dunno you cats are pretty great so, SMASH THE STATE fans. Number 1 group of Joe fans too not marry the first chick who gave them a handjob.

8. Rednecks, some how people in the States have been so dumbed down they write things like this: "yap ran out of room cause i have so many differnt line of toy some complete some not."

So yes, I think I was probably reaching after the first paragraph but I figure you guys should jump in a lake!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

1. Quality control? Or how come the Joebattlelines review figure has good paint ops while my looks like it was painted by a retarded, blind, child laborer using krayons?

2.Some overly negative people are bored and/or disappointed, but still interested in what goes on with GI JOE. They enjoy ragging on Hasbro and the inane aspects of fandom (which isn't allowed on any of the active message boards).

Yeah, others are like "thiz suckz" and "sorry dude wont by that crapp"
and "why isnt da con set 25th figres"...deep insights and well-thought out commmentary.

3. Or "when did everyone become an expert on foreign releases" and Hasbro production facilities and practices?

4. Those are few and increasingly ignored as the bulk of online fans are "newbies" who don't care about anything made before 2007.

5. They become some sort of orthodoxy...IT'S NOT PROPER 1:18 SCALE, I don't want it.

8. Not just rednecks, there's some young urban/suburban pukes who skipped English class to inhale paint thinner.

Dr. Henry E. Miller said...

Yeah we're totally like The Dictaors, SMASH THE STATE IS YOUNG, FAST, SCIENTIFIC.

also broca blutch totally updated go read them