The top 5 What The Christ? figure details:

I've been re-examining some figures recently, and I've noticed for every 1983 Cobra with Garrote there are some details that make me wonder what was the point, some may have reasonable explanations but they still look goofy/bizzarre. Here's the list:

5. 92 Roadblock mold's Earring, what was up with that thing, I know that Roadblock was "cooler" than most Joe team members (he wasn't a bland honky like so many of them) but the damn thing ruins a decent headsculpt but I guess RB should be happy he has ears this time

4. Talking Battle Commanders' Stalker's ninja star. In the middle of his webgear is a ninja star, what the hell man, he was the only main character in Joe who didn't become a goddamn ninja but he's got a ninja star. I guess Shruikens were the weapon of choice in late 60's Detroit.

3. The 92 Roadblock mold's bandana's, when I first noticed them on the Anti Venom Roadblock, I was surprised that they threw in a Bloods reference on a toy for children (or so the talking point goes) I wonder if they were always supposed to be red, but some streetwise Hasbro employee in '92 noticed the blue pants and those being Crips colors and didn't want his figure increasing action figure related gang violence, which had been in decline since 1983.

2.The 1992 Flak Viper Leotard-leggings combo, for real I'm surprised Ol' Flak Viper isn't used in more customs my esteemed colleauge Dr. Henry E. Miller writes witty one liners about, because BABES WEAR THOSE THINGS ON THEIR LEGS MAN, THESE ARE SORTA LIKE THEM. Or intentional (not unintentional like half the ones in the last post) Rocky Horror Show customs. Those would probably be more fun

1. 1985 Lady Jaye Mold's Buttons on chest pockets. Man,what the fuck? not only is it creepy to see on a toy, it's creepier to think some dude probably got his rocks off designing and getting those button nipples approved.


That's all for today kids, soon I'll review some figures like Doc, and Hiss Driver, I'lll be nicer too those guys.

Also, coming soon will be the 1983 Cobra spy that maybe 4 white people ever heard of, and details on the minority marketing campaign that almost killed Joe.

Your pal, J. Turk