The Battle Andriod Trooper is goddamned retarded and your all jerks for liking it.

From The Desk Of The Esteemed Doctor Henry Edward Miller

The year was 1986, a good year. Patrick Swayzes career was well and alive, The Cramps and Wang Chung released albums, it was the year of the Final Countdown, and as the rest of the modern world thrived, so did the Joe line.

Classics like Mr Fuji Roadblock, Beachhead, Low Light, Hawk and the original (and best) Viper flooded the shelfs.

But amongst this banner year for the Joe line, there was one of the stupidest things I'd seen to this point. The Battle Android Trooper, or B.A.T for those keeping score at home. This was one of the first steps towards the sci-fi nonsense that plagued the line in its later years, instead of another kickass Cobra trooper to blow up with the mountain howitzer we got some dumb fucking robot with really shortsighted weapons (Really, how the hell is he supposed to refill the grenade launcher or flame thrower?) according to the filecard, the B.A.T's are the "perfect trooper" then it goes on to mention that they shoot anything, and burst into flames like a Pinto when hit from behind, and that they are "incredibly cheap" well, shucks, I didn't know an advanced robot capable of blowing shit up was running so cheap these days! Guess they made them in Honduras or something.

The B.A.T was Hasbro's way of having lots of nameless, bloodless Cobra bad guys on the battlefield of the cartoon to get gunned down by the Joe's and there Red Lasers of goodness and fortitude and Jesus without blood, death or whining from parents about there children watching a cartoon portraying death that was made to be a 22 minute commercial for a toy that included guns and a strange dressed doctor who liked to experiment on people. Go figure, anyway the B.A.T hearkened in the beginning of the end of the line, as the more realistic figures faded out, we got figures like the B.A.T and Cobras who wanted to go space like Timothy Leary.

Unfortunately, Hasbro thought to make yet another B.A.T in 1991, this time with neon highlights and one of those spring loaded missile launcher backpacks, after that, we were treated to fourteen different versions in the new sculpt line, the doctor ignores these because the new sculpts are all pretty lame.

The Doctors Final Thoughts: The B.A.T I had as a kid ended up being a wacky robot sidekick to the EEL, they got into wacky adventures, usually involving the B.A.Ts fear of water and the EELs diabetes.