If taking pictures of childrens toys is considered normal, you still probably can't justify taking pictures and then making a story about them. Dio stories are one way to get some neckbeards as friends because they want to know what happens when your darling character (usually an obscure jerk people don't like, like I dunno Countdown) gets his time in the sun. Here's a list of of some things that make them bad:
1. Awful photography. Gee it's blurry, or your pictures are all overexposed use lights or take photos when there isn't cloud cover jesus christ.
2. Awful sets. Hey guys I live in the northeast, my background in October is gonna make an awesome South America right? And don't forget the great TALL GRASS shots. The Tall Grass is such a common battlefield it's annoying. The only thing worse is the fucking sandbox of doom, nothing sez AMERICAN INGENUITY like a bunch of buildings with no roofs or back walls in the desert while fighting the TERRORISTS. Or the homemade ones, because foamcore looks like walls and tables are made out of a circle and a spool of thread.
3. Awful dialogue. You know I'm sure all the TERRERISTS the US fights use all the standard Military lingo, "COME ON EEL 45 WE GOTTA MEET THE GROUND POUNDERS 45 KLICKS TO THE WEST" And then use your friends last names to sound edgy "EEL 45 WHATS THE MATTER. EEL 45 COME IN. ARE YOU OKAY YAMADA-GARZA?" And if you want to differentiate, throw in allusions to god, and no one curses. Not drug dealers, not guys who just saw there best friends face turn into a pile of goo and not terrorists.
I've got way more gripes but this is enough for now, I'm sure all 4 of you stopped reading after the word "if'. I'll probably criticize that one fat guy next.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I think a good way to spend my time would be to make terrible graphics in Microsoft Paint for organizations like the Cobra Accounting Dept. Softball Team and the Dreadnok Office of Appropriations Milwaukee Office and then upload them to JoeCustoms, see if they turn up anywhere.
The only problem is that I would then have to read diostories again to see if they turn up.
Post a Comment