A while back I made post scrutinizing dio stories, and I'm back to do it some more. Now I've already mentioned "Bad photography" "Refrences to Jesus" and probably other things but I'm not going back to read it so if I cover something twice, it's because I can.
-Bad posing and sets. Nothing can ruin your dio story about The G.I.Joe team liberating the south from the terrorists than it taking place on your dirty kitchen floor with a goddamn case of Mello Yello in the background. Or maybe the setting is the HQ (with mysterious brown stains) however I don't want to see your goddamn kitchen table in the background with 11 1993 Battle Corps neon guys just lying there while the guys in the HQ look like they're those jerks who bend their elbows but never move their arms away from their torso.
Also, I guess I wouldn't want to see a Dio Story about liberating the south anyways so maybe the kitchen table doesn't matter much.
-Random outfit changes and character introductions. Oh hey Stalker is wearing his 1997 get up this is pretty cool, 8 scenes later he's wearing a black shirt and a neon green jacket and has grown a goatee, now I'm no doctor but that doesn't make a lot of sense. Also when your reading it and suddenly some other jerk is now in the squad that is fighting COBRA COMMAND in the jungles of south america that ya know happens to be trees after the leaves changed and fell and pine trees is really fucking stupid. Honestly if you can't keep the attention of someone who sought out this thing because you have a similar hobby then you must've gotten an F in creative writing.
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And they never have the classic characters I want to see like Urine Viper, Awesome Viper or Walt Disney. Also, there aren't any awesome Cuban Cigar/ATF/Hotel plotlines. That I know of.
The other fanboy fanfic cliche, they invent their own darling "kewl" character (their alter ego) to add to the team. It's Pulpit, the GI JOE preacher! Or Pitface, some ugly guy who's a total badass!! Let's write some moral laden story with them playing a pivotal role, that also stars a villain no one cares about (Oberlord, Reptile Wrangler, Birdhead, that fugly drug dealer guy...). Epic, man, muthf@#%in' epic.
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