Don't: Make all of your sets out of Foamcore and print outs, you look like a jerk
Do: Make a story with jokes about Scottie Pippen
Don't: Have Clutch speak like a fucking hick. Just because Sunbow doesn't realize that New Jersey isn't beside Tennesee doesn't mean you have to have Clutch Say "Beggin yer pardin'"
Do: Take pictures of your toys in decent poses
Don't: Take pictures of your toys with their arms behind their back in a chair too suggest they're tied up yet not have them tied up. Joe fans aren't that dumb
Do: Make comments about Smash The State being better than everything
Don't: Post the exact same post on 4 sites pimping your stupid dio. Unless it reads like "LISTEN HERE JERKS READ THIS: http://didn'titrain.biz/dio/General_Hawk_Should_Stop_chapter1"
Do: Use the Paralyzer
Don't: Stick all of your playsets in the sand and claim it's a "Pre Fab base where that gay dude with the orange hardhat was all "eh yo put those 83 HQ walls over there to cover the back. Don't forget too build the chapel. Without electricty we need god"
Do: Not make a dio
Don't:Use awful customs
Do: Listen to me
Don't: Make dio stories that read like Earth A.D./Wolfsblood
Don't: Say "The government made a giant underground bunker for the joes where they can just totally have a goddamn Mobile Battle Bunker sit their all open and shit. Seriously that bunker would be like 400 goddamn feet down. Seriously the government ain't gonna waste like 12 billion dollars making something that looks like your fucking garage"
Do: Ask me for refrences of these happening in real dio stories. I do name names when asked, Smash The State never loses!
3 comments:
I'm gonna print me up a shirt that says "SMASH THE STATE NEVER LOSES!"
I'll send ya one...along with some of a dio involving clutch getting wasted on the pcp and picking a fight with a Misfits album cover.
"Pre-fab base"...I get tired of that concept. GI JOE just has a warehouse of those that are somehow worth transporting anywhere. Let's drop the stainless steel walled garage with a prison cell in Durkastahn! Sunbow didn't even do that crap, and they had a colossal space station that was used once and never mentioned again!
Don't use figures that are obviously from another well known franchise. Admiral Ackbar as the President of the USA only seems like a good idea on paper.
Don't follow-up on Marvel comic book continuity, unless you want to "phail" like Devil's Due.
Don't use alternate figures of GI JOE characters as new characters. The joint chiefs are not Hawk clones. Not everyone in Cobra dresses like Firefly.
Don't get that Flash Gordon Ming throne for Cobra Commander. It's tacky.
Don't use the following: werewolves, CGI sluts, current political references, kitchen tables and Farscape slang.
Do bring back Serpentor and then kill him just because everyone else did, you tool. You know you want to.
Do raise the bar so high and invest all your free time making you dio as realistic as possible so that others will be discouraged and spare the world their would-be-attempts at story telling.
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