G.I. Joe comic re-boot!

One thing a lot of joe fans have clung to since 1995 was the G.I.Joe continuity. Mainly because they've got no real personality and didn't buy health insurance until the OXY CLEAN GUY WHO YELLS A LOT started endorsing it. And now that Devils Due (dudes I never heard of prior to the joe comic) lost that license and some more guys I've never heard of got it and have decided "LOL THIS HERE COMIC BOOK WITH IT'S LAST CHOICE WRITER THAT MARVEL DIDN'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TO EVEN BOTHER TEACHING ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THE JOES TO REPLACE HIM" 25+ year old continuity is in need of a reboot.

Nerds hate change. So this is bad news for them, even though the new comic will be written by Larry Hama again, and jerks will still praise him as some amazing fuckin writer even though all 155 issues were to sell some goddamn childrens toys. They weren't even realistic about army problems, do you guys remember the issue where Clutch and Rock N Roll killed a bunch of Cobra soldiers and then trafficked drugs? Or the time Shipwreck wasn't allowed to serve due to the no open gays in the military rule, or the time Flash got PTSD and was shipped back home and then became homeless?

Me neither, and until they do a Joe comic that doesn't suck make mine jokes about Funskool Tripwire and Thomas Wheeler

GI JOE IS A PERFECTLY LEGIT HOBBY FOR NORMAL PEOPLE WITH GOOD JOBS AND FRIENDS wait

One year later and Joe fandom consists of 99% percent assholes, so theres no reason to stop writing about how much cooler we are then people who listen to Tool and Kid Rock and work at In And Out Burger.

Heres a list of things I've learned about Joe fans in the last year:

1. They wear stained t-shirts
2. Fat
3. They make stupid customs
4. EVERYONE IN FIREFIGHTS USES TRACER ROUNDS
5. They still have stupid opinions
6. Mike Fountain is no friend of mine
7. Reading drama from the fall of 2001 is entertaining
8. Hasbro makes a great looking Torpedo, then goes and fucks up Rock And Roll and the Viper.
9. Tom Jacks has a poor work ethic
10. Bobby Steele is an okay guy
11. Thomas Wheeler is a socially retarded manchild
12. Fat
13. Basic model building skills such as painting, masking and weathering are unheard of
14. Customizing continues to be a primitive hobby due to the fact nobody listens to good advice
15. Tall grass in Vermont is totally the jungle
16. Stu Wilson touches all the bases
17. Johnny Turk is banned from entering the state of Rhode Island for reasons that cannot be legally disclosed on a public forum
18. You're gonna pay for your stupid stickball
19. Fat
20. Jesus
21. Joe fans like horrible music
22. Working at Wendys is a socially acceptable job to have at age 38
23. Al Capone was a hoodlum
24. Size 2xl T-shirts
25. Funskool Tripwire won the rigged election
26. Fast food paychecks buy lots of shitty figures
27. TWENTY SEVEN IS A GOOD NUMBER TO END ON