One year later and Joe fandom consists of 99% percent assholes, so theres no reason to stop writing about how much cooler we are then people who listen to Tool and Kid Rock and work at In And Out Burger.
Heres a list of things I've learned about Joe fans in the last year:
1. They wear stained t-shirts
2. Fat
3. They make stupid customs
4. EVERYONE IN FIREFIGHTS USES TRACER ROUNDS
5. They still have stupid opinions
6. Mike Fountain is no friend of mine
7. Reading drama from the fall of 2001 is entertaining
8. Hasbro makes a great looking Torpedo, then goes and fucks up Rock And Roll and the Viper.
9. Tom Jacks has a poor work ethic
10. Bobby Steele is an okay guy
11. Thomas Wheeler is a socially retarded manchild
12. Fat
13. Basic model building skills such as painting, masking and weathering are unheard of
14. Customizing continues to be a primitive hobby due to the fact nobody listens to good advice
15. Tall grass in Vermont is totally the jungle
16. Stu Wilson touches all the bases
17. Johnny Turk is banned from entering the state of Rhode Island for reasons that cannot be legally disclosed on a public forum
18. You're gonna pay for your stupid stickball
19. Fat
20. Jesus
21. Joe fans like horrible music
22. Working at Wendys is a socially acceptable job to have at age 38
23. Al Capone was a hoodlum
24. Size 2xl T-shirts
25. Funskool Tripwire won the rigged election
26. Fast food paychecks buy lots of shitty figures
27. TWENTY SEVEN IS A GOOD NUMBER TO END ON
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2 comments:
Posts like these are why I, The Touch, choose to visit this blog instead of anything else GI Joe related besides the actual offices of Hasbro, where I ate candy and danced to NES versions of Van Halen and New Order.
The fact of the matter is, anything of import will be relayed here.
(You can use this with potential advertisers, not only is it a strong endorsement of the blog but it establishes my credibility as a dude who went to the Hasbro office once.)
I enjoy the a-hole fans who migrated from whatever-was-popular-to-collect-2-years-ago (Marvel Legends, Transformers, Bratz) to 25th anniversary GI JOE. They immediately react to any older style product with "WHY ISN'T THAT IN 25TH STYLE? IT LOOKS BAD. I WON'TS BY TAHT SHITT! WAT IS HASBRO THINKIN??"
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