Stupid cliched internet Joe fan ideas

Joe fans are not creative, wel they were in like 1998 but now-a-days they all think the same damn way and cool cats get ignored so everyone can listen to some hacks who like everything, have bad sense of military lingo and sure as hell enjoying throwing tons of pictures of "BATELZ IN THE TALL GRASS" at people

Anyways, now that I've got that critique of people being sheep off my chest it's time to point out things every jerk seems to do:

#1. Put all international joes into "Action Force" Yeah, I totally see Argentineans going "Sorry Margret Thatcher for that Falklands incident let's all fight terror together!" seriously if your too fucking ignorant to realize "Hey not everybody is gonna want to fight that terrorism together" maybe you should read a book instead of playing with children's toys.

#2. Customs of Female Cobra's named "Black Aria". Seriously there's like 11 better songs by Glenn Danzig to steal names from than some lame ass solo project he did. Also what the fuck is with all of these usually being females who happen to be dark skinned, why is it okay for this or Hitler customs but if someone was to do a custom of Ronald "Jermain" Reagan as a Klansman with a filecard that read "Primary Military specialty: Feeding Corporations Secondary Military Specialty:Terrorisim" there'd be a lynching?

#3. Reusing comic storylines: Serpentor causing Cobra Command to splinter and fight amongst itself while the Joes have to get involved too? I swear I read this in 1988 but now it's just got way more allusions to jesus.

#4. Not creating your own characterizations. "Gee, Mike T. says he potrays this guy as this. I better do so as well" Man, fuck this garbage, you should attempt to have the creatitivity to say "Hmm this guy has a cool idea but I should think up something for myself" and then decide that the part for part Black Vulture custom you just made and insist on calling "A Brute Negro" should be something like "Armor commander" or "Cyber Paratrooper" or something that isn't what every other goddamned person is doing.

#5. Using the Oktober Guard in your present day joeverse/Making a Chinese version of the Oktober Guard: Man, the Oktober Guard is dead and they ain't real OG's either. They didn't have a dude named "Afu" pour a 40 oz on the corner, when they got blown away in some jungle, and making a Chinese version is cool and topical now, but I've met people from China they aren't all martial artists or named "FouJou JouFou" Plus Chinese women don't wear whatever the fuck Chun Li wore on her head in Street Fighter II, sorry all you japanophiles.

#6. Making Grand Slam an important character: Yeah, what the hell is this dudes, trying to live vicariously through 4 inch hunks of plastic (OH NO TOMMY WHEELER, DON'T MAKE A POST ABOUT THIS ON THE INTERNET YELLING ABOUT HOW YOU MET SOME JERK WHO WAS ON THE MOON BECAUSE OF G.I.JOE. THE MOON LANDING WAS FAKE AND YOUR TWO MONTHS BEHIND IN THE RENT) anyways, Grand Slam is a pretty important character when he's not using his jetpack to blow up terrordromes or whatever, he's the original tertierary support character. Without him you would've had a bunch of dudes who are important, or well characterized in the 82 line, so by making him something he's not your really just hurting everyone else.

G.I. Joe is something that can be really fun and make you think when you decide not to use tired old 25 year old stories and put your own spin on things. If I had to use Snake Eyes as Superjoe the amazing silent ninja soldier, I wouldn't have been able to shape my joe world into something I found incredibly well thought out and not full of 10 of every 15 Joe characters being connected to one dude.