Vehicles for Cobra Command have been around for like 25 years, and for the most time they were uglier than a two tone haircut. Here's a list of the ones that aren't:
1. The Rattler: anything with the purpose of mudering Steeler is awesome
2. The Stinger: Even though it's armed with "SMALL AMOUNT OF RED MISSLES" It's got a razor blade ramming bar. That's better than more headlights like that pussy vamp 2
3. The Night Raven small pod
4.The Maggot: this thing actually makes a little sense. And has a gun that could blow guys up, no missles (Seriously every fucking thing has missles those things aren't good they run out quickly) and isn't purple or driven by a guy who's got hip boots.
5.The Battle Barge: One time I decided it would be awesome to do a dio with Snake Eyes getting knocked in a river and Duke being all "HEY JUST TREADWATER" and snake eyes bangs his head and drowns. However I remembered it would be awesome to not make a dio because no one would get it and didn't want to waste my time doing that (I had a bag of cheetohs and a VHS of Perry Mason episodes)
6.The Hiss II: This thing is actually a tank, plus has a big gun. Too bad there's Red missles
7.The Rage, this thing is hilarious as it's got more guns that every cobra vehicle from 1983, and it's got a motherfucking mine layer. I have a feeling this thing is not the last Cobra thing around so those goddamn things kill more cobras than the guy from Motley Crue killed friends in car accidents.
That's it, but really I guess things good be worse for Cobra, they could have all those gay Iron Grenadiers vehicles. You'd think an organization run by some jerk who's awesome at designing guns and shit wouldn't design the TANK HELICOPTER DEATHTRAP!
Ps Big thanks to Dr. Henry E. Miller for springing me my bail, and then helping me throw that pipebomb through the St Boniface KFC drive thru. Motherfuckers you make a bunch of chicken things, I'd assume you'd have learned how to make just the chicken skin. I'll destroy a statue of Abe Lincoln if I have too
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
You and the Doctor (Miller, not Who) disagree about the Battle Barge. Will this lead to a schism that will destroy Smash the State?
hanoi rocks was a good band, fuck you vince neil
you forgot the best cobra vehicles: the pogo and the buzzboar. my dream is to see one of each in every garage in america.
The Bugg was the best ever, all it was missing was a mini-jet, and it would owned the land, sea and air, much like a wild goose.
Wasting money on the Adder, huh. Well it was only $4 then, which with inflation still won't buy you any good crap today. Roadpig seemed to like it, according the package art. If an ugly, uneducated, possibly illiterate biker can operate a SAM weapons system, then the Joes are screwed. And it also makes Hawk look more like a tool.
Post a Comment