G.I. Joe conventions tend to bring out the worst aspects of G.I.Joe, the worst of all is the exclusives so I'll look back at as many of them as I can remember or until I get bored, don't worry though I'm not gonna do anything stupid like that 1993 Backblast that got bagged and sold in like 98 or something.
James DeSimone's convention exclusives:
Cobra Infiltrate Jinx: This figure is great because it was James DeSimone getting a bunch of Jinx's and a Mickey Mouse CC Cobra symbol stencil. I bet that guy makes a batch in his garage every two years
Police Officer: What happens when you take an already ugly figure and make him a cop? A hilarious waste of Stardusters, but I suppose this motherfucker is hella rare what with regular Stardusters being like 60 bucks and these guys never show up. They'd probably go for like 200 bucks, I guess I should make some in my garage and then sell them.
Race Car Driver:I think this is the best coloring of the Ace v1 mold shame it's just a shitty custom
Master Collector Exclusives
2002: Hey remember when Vipers weren't boring and Crimson repaints weren't (really) stupid? yeah the good old days indeed!
2003: The beginning of using "obscure molds" oh well atleast this set didn't prevent any good molds from being used at retail
2004: HELL YEH DREADNOKZ It's pretty bad when the best figures are a Buzzer and Ripper with hilarious and unnoticed ripped off foreign colorschemes. Also this set is the beggining of really hilarious and overpriced other exclusives (I think there was only 1 in 03, here there's a bunch) My favorite being the fifty dollar Zubaz pants Zartan with a TBC Hawk in bad colors and a second one with new sculpt head. Didn't they make a v1 style Zartan head with a balljoint neck in 2001? Why not use that
2005: Hey like 90% of these molds would've done better at retail and not being Iron Grenadiers, seriously fuck the Iron Grenaiders those guys are overrated
2006: What happens when you take some of the lamer molds and make a bunch of fat ass troopers for Major Bludd and Overlord, who also introduces the coil, a sub par convention set, so how do you save it? Throw in a R@RE and cool South American exclusive, just ya know make it worse that the original. This is probably the worst set ever devised by these MC cats mainly due too the fact it throws all the popular Joe fan ideas together and proves they're all godawful. Wait I guess this is the best set.
2007: Some decent updates too classic characters and some cartoon characters. It's lowpoint is pretty much the female Cobra troopers. While not nearly as fucked up as a lot of customs the terrible back mold ruins those figures.
2008: DRUG DEALING ROBOTS CRACK SMACK BZZT LSD
Canadian Joe exclusives: The most expensive customs around, too bad they all suck and aren't even worth the money jerks pay for them.
So in the end, most Joe convention exclusives are terrible (much like this article) and not really worth 300 bones, but then again "HEY U GUYS THERE EXCLUSIVES THEY MIGHT SELL OUT!" which ya know rarely happens
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8 comments:
Why the fudge did they give the Dreadnoks camoflauge patterns? Competing with Tiger Force for ugliness?
2005. An IG head on a Night Viper body is a poor man's custom, not a real IG. Suddenly 1994 Vipers are something else?
2006 Maybe they are just big boned. Apparently, the Mortal's paint flakes if you look at him. A fragile tribute to a fragile original. Pointlessness personified. And why would Bludd have a team of clones? They didn't even change the hair color on those guys! The Joes suck even more. Every renegade wears mega marine armor, sans play-doh. Slaughter has Gung-Ho's body. And Roddy Piper? Why?
2007, I like the tanks they didn't make, so it's a tank-themed set with nuthin' but a lame version of the Vamp. The all female cobra unit was fanwank personified. Plus, again, they decided to add a few characters that could've been included in the main set, but that would either mean dumping most of the army builders or adding more figures to the set.
2008, I think this is their last shot, really. Certain people fell in love with the Headhunters (jumped on the bandwagon because other fans thought they were kewl) and were nostalgic for 1986 BATS. Where is there left to go? Eco Warriors? Star Brigade? HA!
Hahaha, I never even thought about what else they could go with now.
Eco Warriors wouldn't work as that would result in claiming Global Warming is real (joe fans don't belive that)
Ninja's are really niche, and have been overdone quite a bit in the last 8 years.
Shit I think the only thing that would cause any sort of desirable set would be something like the 2004 Cobra Infantry set figures getting like jungle camo with Kwinn and Doctor Venom, but even then joe dweebs are probably burnt out on the idea of Cobra Troopers, seeing as there's been like 20 released so far in the 25th line (with more to come I bet) that they had too buy multiples of because "Goddamnit it's an army builder"
Cobra vs. Joe women's beach volleyball set. It's a slam dunk. You all know it.
Those red shadow guys. It's inevitable.
How the fuck would they be able to pull off the Red Shadows though? The UK ones were the only good ones but I doubt Mastercollector could get the license for them. That's probably why Hasbro's always "LOL NO WAY WE T0TALEE HAVE NO PLANZ FOR THOSE GUYS" in that snowjob of a Q&A. They probably can't get the license
you guys are overlooking the obvious:
REAL ASS NAVY SEALS
this would feature wet suit, torpedo, shipwreck and tracker with shitty floppy hats and gook-killing knives, along with dumb weapons like sniper rifles.
fans will go 'FINALLY A TORPEDO THAT'S NOT A DIVER!!' and I'll remark how he's even more of a pervert when he's not wearing a wet suit.
they will drive a REAL ASS HUMMER right into North Korea.
the cobra exclusive will just be like 14 lt. clay moores and a major bludd and everyone will be happy.
Yes, the Joes would the add on three pack available only to attendees, while the box set would include some popular Cobra everyone had 20 versions of (Bludd, Destro, Cobra Commander, Baroness) who's "new" look is either so close to an existing version as to be pointless or so goofy looking as to be embarassing. The 14 troop builder figures would be some obscure vehicle driver repainted as a kewl new trooper that's probably redundant in function to some other cobra forces and an awkward looking kit-bashed trooper, maybe Astro Viper head on Blaster's body with Cobra trooper legs. Of course they'd all be armed with new sculpt era weapons.
They should make such an obscure figure it's not even made with a Joe mold, witness the new Cobra trooper convention set with 12 repainted troopers made from a Mego figure.
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