We pretty much question every thing Hasbro does nowadays and hate (hate bloggers whoooah) on the 25th nonstop, but me and J. Turk have good reasons, so we'll list them for youse guys:
- Fake collector frenzy: For years G.I Joe was free of chase figures and variants and thats one of the reasons the hobby was great, now every wave has some bullshit that nerds get all sweaty about and stores that get shamelessly promoted on websites with dwindling content sell for insane markup. It hurts the hobby in the worst way, but it does give people we don't like reasons to be upset so maybe it's not such a bad thing.
- Figures that can't move worth a shit: Seriously, if we had action figures that could move and sit and hold guns 20 fucking years ago, why don't we now?
- Nothing original: Yeah it's cool some things like a cobra trooper never really change, but now there just making the same figures they made in the 80's and instead of improving them, they look like shit and have problems mentioned above.
- Johnny come lately: I DON'T LIKE RAH BECAUSE THEY CAN'T MOVE IN THE GODDAMNED CHEST REALISTIC MILITARY CRACKS IN THE UPPER BODY
- Shitty plastic: I don't really care if your gonna charge 10 bucks for a single packed figure, but maybe you shouldn't make them out of shit that feels like hollow plastic.
- Reusing molds to get as many figures on the market and flood it: Battle Armor Cobra Commander and the Iron Grenadier totally shop at the same armor store rite guyz. Seriously I can't even tell some of these figures apart, that shit flew in 1982 but it's 2008, who the fuck cares about getting Cutter anyway?
- Keeping making the same 8 characters in every wave - I don't collect Star Wars figures because they don't pose for shit and they make like 190 Chewbaccas a year why the fuck would I want the same in G.I Joe
- Listening to idiot collectors - This is the reason we have asshole chase figures and boring army builder repaint packs, not to mention nothing original and just the same shit over and over and over. Change hurts if you're a Joe fan I guess.
- Inferior body style - Seriously, for 25 years you had the perfect formula for a 4 inch tall action figure then you go and pay tribute to them by discarding the best template for a toy ever and replacing them with stuff that feels and looks like a knockoff or some overpriced japanese import toy. Thats like forming a Flipper cover band and then playing your instruments in tune and not doing lots of drugs.
So theres the reasons we don't like this 25th nonsense. If you don't like it go jump off the Moodna Viaduct!
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7 comments:
The changed the format in 2002, most fans decried the o-ringless t-crotch figures. Last year, everyone got such a hard on for retro looks and chose to ignore the fact the figures were no longer 3 3/4" scale and couldn't sit down, and some couldn't bend their elbows 90 degrees.
Before new sculpts came along, some fans were all "do you really just want the same figures repainted over and over with only the occasional new head sculpt?"
Which is ironic now, because thats what over half of what the "MODERN STYLE" (25th) is.
I'd go back to The Real American Hero Collection in a heartbeat. Even if that meant buying a repainted Roadblock's renamed Double Trouble and painted lime green packed with a fake-Night Force version of Ninja Force TjBang, all packed on a blister card showing a Apache helicopter they'll never make with file cards written by Hasbro's mail-room trainee.
2000-2001 we're like the best years for G.I Joe since 89', even if it was mailed in and incredibly short on resources it was a lot better then what we have now.
There are really only two eras of G.I. Joe I'd think about collecting, 1982-1984 style, or 2000-2001, while I wish we had gotten a few more classic characters in 2000-2001 I'm still happier with that line than damn near anything after it
In terms of modern sensiblities, they had the 3 3/4" formula down by the end of the DTC stuff. Double jointed knees, ankles, etc., those also could be done with the same o-ring template.
at least the 25th stuff doesn't have the nightmare proportions of the joe vs cobra/valor vs venom/DTC shit
i know that you guys secretly hate BROCA BLUTCH because we buy some 25th anniv figures and take funny pictures of them but we will LAY WASTE TO YOU at the Wild Zero drinking game
that is my challenge to you
ROCK AND ROLL
Yeah the 25th figures do have decent shoulder proportions and generally normal heads (my main problems with VvV)
We don't secretly hate Broca blutch for that, we secretly hate broca blutch because you are funnier than us. Also your 25th figure pictures are way better than stuff by LEONARDO T. DRAGON! or the jerk and half's that leave them carded and take pictures.
You broca blutch cats are totally gonna beat us at that theirs like two of you, and Smash The State is Dr. Henry E. Miller, I'm like a secret Mormon or something!
Don't get me wrong, I hate the VvV/JVC/DTC figures even more then the 25th stuff, at least these figures have proportions that look somewhat human.
If all the 25th figures we're as good looking as the Snow Serpent and Torpedo I'd have no problem with them, and might have even bought a couple but fact the rest of the line is pretty damn horrible is keeping me far away from anything to do with G.I Joe right now.
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