Someones gonna pay like 13 bucks for this

I really hope that pump is included to help neckbeards breathe after it hits them they spent like 10-13 bones on a figure that has less joint movements then the Han Solo figure from like 1978. How useful is a giant fucking pump in battle, is deep-six supposed to jump up and down on it and ruffle some papers Cobra has or blow wind in there faces so they get all uncomfortable? This crazyass jerk is also packaged with a Rock N Roll that can accually move his damn arms so hes weighing down a figure with an inferior body style but is a cool dude, so fuck this guy!

Look out Cobra, The Joes are launching a bomb!

And it's gonna hit every theatre in America. There is a g.i. joe movie coming out, now most people think this is a good idea I guess, but hey they're not intelligent like me or Dr. Henry E. Miller. So we figure that the G.I. Joe fan boy spin doctors are gonna see said Joe Movie and then post about it on the internet and then do DAMAGE CONTROL when it sucks because you know war movies about AMERIKA THE BEAUTIFUL HOME OF THE BRAVE AND HOME OF THE SLAVES are gonna regurgitate all over the net. Here's our bets:

THEY DIDN'T HAVE TIMELESS CHARACTERS LIKE COPPERHEAD THATS WHY IT DIDN'T DO GOOD

GUYS LISTEN THEY TRIED TO ADAPT THE CHARACTERS TO MODERN TIMES

NO ONE CAN RELATE TOO RIPCORD BEING A BLACK AMERICAN

LARRY HAMA DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH CREATIVE CONTROL

THE HOLLYWOOD LEFT DIDN'T ALLOW IT TOO SUCCEED

THEY DIDN'T LET THOMAS WHEELER HAVE ANY SAY, HE DID AMAZING ON THE FILECARDS

THEY PROBABLY LET STEEL BRIGADE HAVE TOO MUCH SAY F*** YOU DAVID LANE

THE ORIGINAL HYPE FOR THE MOVIE WAS TERRIBLE. NO ONE WANTS A G.I. JOE THAT ISN'T TRUE TOO IT'S ROOTS AND DOWNPLAY'S IT'S PATIROTISIM.GI JOE IS AN AMERICAN ORGINZATION NOT INTERNATIONAL

THEY DIDN'T ALLOW THEM TO WEAR THEIR ORIGINAL COSTUMEZ

there will be more but, fuck that shitty movie is like a year away and hey maybe we'll luck out and it won't ever finish, or it'll bomb so bad hasbro goes outta bidness and a bunch of fat guys get real jobs.

The Doctors Short Takes Part: 9

Hey fuck your fascist sequential numbering schemes I do what I want!


Ever notice, on any of the popular Joe message boards that some twit is pining and waxing-longingly for a reissue of some vehicle that is considered a classic. We all know well and full that Hasbro would screw the pooch with the mold like they have with any of the older complex molds like the rattler and the vaporware tanks that jerks paid way to much for. It's one thing to make the HISS over and over, that thing could be carved out of wood, but to accually think that Hasbro has all the parts to make a Skystriker or even the fucking F.L.A.G.G is retarded nostalgia for an age that never existed.