This Weeks Stupid Shit Said By Jerks

A dude who takes his Action Figure costumes really seriously: Headhunter Stormtrooper: I've never been a big fan of this helmet.
The largest reason is I see no where for the wearer's chin to go, since the helmet slopes back where the chin should be

A dude who obviously doesn't know Joe fans very well: I just don't see why the only comeback to someone who doesn't like Marlon Wayans as Ripcord is that they're a racist. Is this some major victory for the civil rights movement! "YES! Martin Luther King Jr's dream has been realized. We've made Ripcord black!". Or maybe it could just be about the few kids who got a Ripcord toy when they were young and thought he was the bee's knees. Maybe the same people who hate the black costumes and Duke's goofy facial hair also wanted a more traditional Ripcord? Nah... It's gotta be racism. It's always racism.

Some guy who doesn't read Smash The State or the google newsgroup: Who is Mike Fountain?

This guy has learned that 90% of joe fans are like Tom Jacks: It seems like everyone else has these awesome, thorough branches of Wikipedia and the Joepedia is completely useless.

IT'S A SERIOUS HOBBY YOU GUYS I SPEND LOTS OF MONEY ON IT: And C*******... you don't deserve to call yourself a GI Joe fan. Suck it up pal. Life's rough. Get a helmet.

A dude who much perfers the guiding red lasers of Jesus and America: They killed off that many characters? Man this is why the cartoons are better.......`

Some guy with overrated taste in figures and music: Spirit looks like Johhy Cash

A bunch of comments on the Vincent Li and Tim McLean Beheading incident:
Huh. dude must have found out the other guy was a card bender and decided to fix the problem lol.

I have always felt safe in Canada for some reason. I guess it goes to show, your not really safe any where.

well, in the guys defense, the other guy should have left at least 1 bat on the peg.

Our number 1 target who's almost 50 and buys kids toys on television warnings: So I was watching some TV tonight, and a storm started to blow through, and as sometimes happens, the show I was watching was interrupted by a ribbon running across the screen, and a brief audio announcement about the storm, via the National Weather Service.

Okay, fine and well. But part of the announcement states, "This advisory is in effect for the next 40 minutes..."

Except the individual reading the announcement pronounced "minutes" as if it were "min-yoo-etts".

How in the hell can someone even get a job with the National Weather Service without knowing how to pronounce as basic a word as "minutes"?!???!

And THESE are the people keeping track of dangerous weather patterns on our behalf?

That just FILLS me with confidence...!

And this weeks AWESOME STUFF SAID BY A COOL DUDE is:Wow judging from the pole results, GI.Joe is a very serious subject, not to be taken lightly.

Master Collector doesn't reply to my email

Some how I wound up on the mastercollector mailing list. So instead of being polite and requesting off I trolled those guys, too bad they didn't reply, anyways here it is: SIR OR MADAMN YOU SEEM TO HAVE GOTTEN THIS JOHNNY TURK CONFUSED WITH ANOTHER. IT IS VERY COMMON NAME, SEE. THIS E-MAIL IS USED TOO DISCUSS HARDCORE PUNK ROCK MUSIKS WITH MEN, I DO NOT WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR CONSUMER FACIST PROPAGANDA, YA SEE THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR AS I DID NOT SIGN UP. I DID CHECK YOUR WEBSIGHT AND IT IS A HARD NAVIGATION, I WOULD POST THIS ON YOUR BBS HOWEVER I (A TECHNOLOGY MAN) COULD NOT FIGURE IT OUT. THIS IS NOT CHILDREN IN HEAT MAN.Cellophane sex, a new way of life
With your heart in your throat
And the other alive
You've been pissin', pissin' blood
Pissin' blood for seven days. GLENN DANZIG IS VERY TALENTED SING. DO YOU LIKE HIM, I LIKE HIM MUCH MORE THAN JERU. HOW ABOUT DEAD KENNEDYS (NO THE)


Master collector if you read this (Please do, we totally meant every negative comment, and all that praise we didn't write but felt because your getting like 3 wendy's checks)

Generic Thomas Wheeler Post

Step 1: Topic about something boring and dull that no one really should care about (I hid a Shockwave re-issue at TRU for 3 weeks)

Step 2: Sound like an out of it old dude (Why did a 7 year old dress like a street thug with spiked hair, leather jacket and jeans)

editors note: What kind of thug wears that nowadays? Last gangsta I met was wearing an airbrushed Biggie t-shirt.

Step 3: Mention you take the bus

Step 4: Mention you live in an apartment

Step 5: Make a comment about your intelligence (I have an IQ of 139)

Step 6: Make a comment about being broke.

Step 7: Profit! well no actually I think this takes 18 dollars out of your bank account.

Stories jerks sent us

As the leading blog in the G.I.Joe fan community, what with us being the only good one, I feel that Smash the State Figure Review a thon should hand out some fan fiction, yes, that stuff that losers wrote back in the 90's because DSL was too expensive, and they couldn't take pictures. So here's some excerpts:

"ROCK N ROLLS DAY OFF" by Anonymous

"ROCK N ROLL WAS ON LEAF AT HIS HOME. HE DECIDED TO GO BEAT UP PUNK ROCKERS AND GET SOME CHICKS. ROCK N ROLL PUT A EAGLES T SHIRT ON OVER HIS 6 PACK ABS. AT THE SHOW HE RAN AROUND FIGHTING. SUDDENLY HENRY ROLLINS HIT HIM WITH A BOTTLE AND THE FIGHT WAS ON" ROCK N ROLL TURNED AND SAID "YOU THINK YOUR HARD ROLLINS, I DRINK COCA COLA FOR BREAKFAST AND I NEVER GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL" WHILST PUNCHING ROLLINS IN THE CHEST. ROLLINS THEN SAID "YOUR A DICK ALL RIGHT" AND GAVE SGT CRAIG S MCCONNEL A CRUSHING LEFT HAND ALL OF A SUDDEN COBRA COMMAND COMMANDOS ATTACKED. AN OFFICER WITH HIS GREY UNIFORM AND SILVE FACE MASKED SHOT AND KILLED GREGG GINN WHO WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF PLAYING A MUDDIED SOLO FOR THE HIT SONG BLACK COFFEE. THE REST OF THE BAND SOON WERE KILLED, EXCEPT HENRY GARFIELD AND HE AND ROCK N ROLL USED M60S TOO BLOW AWAY THE THE COBRS. LATER THAT DAY ROLLINS JOINED G.I.JOE HIS CODENAME WAS 6 PACK"

SCARLETTS DATE by unknown

"Scarlett was in her quarters, laying out her outfit waiting for her date with G.I.Joe team leader, Duke, she stood there and slowly dried her wet body..."

there was more to this, but I ain't copying and pasting some shit some nerd wrote so that he could sustain an erection.

"???" by Tommy WHEELIN DEALIN
STEVEN:
WELL I THINK IT WAS COOL.
Dukel:
I DON'T THINK IT WAS, BUT IT HAD TO BE. CAN WE TALK ABOUT ANY THING ELSE?... PLEASE.
SNAKE EYES:
WE LIVE IN A TOUGH PLACE TO LIVE AND YOU WALK AROUND LIKE EVERY THING IS OK.
Gabriel:
WELL I AM NOT AFRAID OF THE GANGS.
ROADBLOCK:
WHAT DO YOU FEAR? (GABRIEL LOOKS RIGHT AT STEVEN AND SAYS IN A COME SEROUS VOICE.)
DUKE:
ONLY ONE THING.. DEMONS.
SNAKE EYES:
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? (GABRIEL STILL IN HIS SEROUS TONE.)
DUKE:
WELL.. I AM HEAR TO KILL THEM. LETS JUST SAY EVIL IS EVOLVING, SO GOOD HAS TO AS WELL. (THERE ARE SOUNDS OF GUN SHOTS AND A WOMENS VOICE SCREAMING.
OV SCARLETT:
I DON'T HAVE YOUR MONEY. PLEASE GIVE ME ONE MORE DAY.
OV PIMP DESTRO:
FUCK YOU BITCH. YOUR A DEAD HOOKER. (HAND GUN FIRE 2 SHOTS) STEVEN REALIZES IT IS HIS MOTHER IN THE HALLWAY. HE GETS UP AND RUNS WHILE SAYING